Tuesday, February 26, 2013

some days

some days like today, i feel pangs of homesickness. i want to be able to pop on this train and wake up in my other home. better yet, wake up inside that self that was. it’s not that i want to leave, it’s that i miss the familiar. it’s maybe that, i want both worlds when in reality i just live in one, the now, this minute. it’s easy to think what you had before was better. but that’s not always true.
either way, i don’t think i adequately express how much i love, appreciate, and miss my people back home. i think people have a false impression that i’ve moved on, that everything is always great, or I don’t need them as much, but it’s far from true. I think that’s why I tend to be open with others about  my struggles, because I want them to know I’m human and that it’s okay for them to be too. and so- sometimes it’s hard. sometimes it’s lonely. sometimes all i need is sisters on a couch. but there’s good too. there’s laughter, and newness that’s starting to become familiar, there’s the adventure and the courage it takes to try again each day. 
with that, i take a few deep breaths and will just be.some days like today, i feel pangs of homesickness. i want to be able to pop on this train and wake up in my other home. better yet, wake up inside that self that was. it’s not that i want to leave, it’s that i miss the familiar. it’s maybe that, i want both worlds when in reality i just live in one, the now, this minute. it’s easy to think what you had before was better. but that’s not always true.

either way, i don’t think i adequately express how much i love, appreciate, and miss my people back home. i think people have a false impression that i’ve moved on, that everything is always great, or I don’t need them as much, but it’s far from true. 
I think that’s why I tend to be open with others about my struggles, because I want them to know I’m human and that it’s okay for them to be too. and so- sometimes it’s hard. sometimes it’s lonely. sometimes all i need is sisters on a couch. but there’s good too. there’s laughter, and newness that’s starting to become familiar, there’s the adventure and the courage it takes to try again each day.

 with that, i take a few deep breaths and will just be

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